I am supporting the new Danish political party Alternativet (‘the Alternative’) through my photography. They bring in fresh, green new ideas and a desire to do things in different ways most of which I agree with. Because it is time for change!
Taking my first baby steps as a teacher is a big thing for me. All my life I have identified myself with being the quiet girl, I never wanted to speak in front of people.
During the last month however I have engaged myself in different teaching situations. With some good friends who are Council Guides like myself we got the opportunity to teach a group of leaders who take part in an experiment with different kinds of leadership.
We were teaching some of the fundamental teachings from our Delicate Lodge wisdom, tools that are helpful, I would say essential, for living a balanced life.
Do you know Avaaz? Avaaz is the organisation – or platform you could say – that was the reason why people all over the world on the 21rst of September went out in the streets to show their concern about climate change.
I was part of creating the event in Copenhagen, together with around 10 other people. We all volunteered when we first heard about the event a few months ago. In the small marketing and communication group of just 3 people, I became the graphic designer. It was meaningful and fun work and happened with an amazing ease.
Out of almost nothing and with no funding, except small amounts that we put in ourselves, we managed to arrange a beautiful day with a fantastic program – both serious and entertaining, with a warm atmosphere and a lot of concerned people wearing green clothes, making me so proud and touched (-:
A great learning experience of how much we can create – together.
I was also photographer of the event. Watch the flickr slideshow:
The mission of Avaaz is to “organize citizens of all nations to close the gap between the world we have and the world most people everywhere want”. It is a global movement consisting of the people itself, organizing themselves via the internet across the planet to influence people of power and create change and a better world. Everybody can be part of it!
I am spending 10 days and nights in nature, living in my tent in a forest in northern Jutland, Denmark. Together with a group of people we are building a small temporary community of around 50 people. All installations are removed when we leave, leaving no trace, only more beautiful.
Our preparations have as objective the actual Sundance, a deep ceremony of dancing, drumming and singing.
The center of the dance is a tree; symbolising Life and the connection between earth and sky. Body and spirit. We are dancing to and around the tree to celebrate life and by doing so creating a high vibration of energy that will spread out and bring life and heighten the vibrations around the planet. Deep down we are doing our part in creating a better world with all the work we put into this ceremony, the preparations and support, prayers, intentions, dancing, drumming, singing.
These days I am tuning in to what I am bringing to the tree this year. What is my prayer, my giveaway and what do I wish to develop, what am I working with in myself?
Last year I experienced huge healing and growing my power through giving my pain, sorrow and old wounds to the drum and tree. Getting fresh energy and power back in the most beautiful way.
This year I am holding a question about how to create flow and make my life work. What am I REALLY here for?
Hvert år samles en flok naturelskere for at praktisere det gamle håndværk leslåning ved et stort høslæt på Kildeengen ved Hvalsø sydvest for Roskilde. Engen ligger i Bistrup skovene hvor der er vild natur og sjældne arter blandt dyr og planter. Jeg er ikke biolog eller skovmand som mange af mine medfæller på engen den dag, men min fornemmelse er, at det er noget af det tætteste vi kommer på oprindelig ægte natur i Danmark.
Et skønt naturområde hvor jeg gerne kommer igen for at gå på opdagelse og blive næret af naturens fred og gode energi. Engperlemorsommerfugl er en ef de sjældne arter som flaksede rundt i stort antal blandt engens blomster.
Dejligt at tilbringe en dag i naturen med et så meningsfuldt fokus: at pleje naturen. Og smukt at opleve folk gå op i at passe på naturen og bruge en dag på denne måde. Der var sørget for frokost og et festmåltid med grillet rådyr ved dagens afslutning.
Leen spiller en stor rolle i høslættet, hos både store og små lesvingere. Dog er der lige så meget arbejde med at rive sammen og slæbe væk efterfølgende. Det afskårne græs rives sammen og fjernes fra engen for at give luft og lys til ny vækst.
Danmarks Naturfredningsforening har andre høslæts-arrangementer hen over sommeren rundt omkring i Danmark: www.dn.dk/le Wikipedia om høslæt.
English: Every year a bunch of nature lovers gather up in a big hay harvest to practice the old craft of scything. The meadow is a beautiful area with natural forest and rare species of butterflies and flowers. Wonderful to experience people taking care of nature, both young and old working with the scythe and helping to gather and remove the cut grasses.
Apologies for the low activity here lately. I have been busy – or rather I am getting more busy, stepping up in activity level which is great and a needed lift in my life. As the true introvert I am I need big chunks of time dedicated to deeper work like writing or getting ideas for the blog.
It is a new life in many ways.
I have moved back to Copenhagen after 3 years away. Coming back seems to be an opportunity to look at what happened when I left. That was a time of endings: A relationship ended and I had lost a job (again). I had been in a state of low and depressed energy for a long time and it felt as if the world had gotten very small.
I felt a huge need of seeing new horizons – to get some fresh air and inspiration and to expand my view and understanding of the world – to make it bigger again. And to find hope that the world that I had known was not all there was.
I decided for India and went traveling, just me and my backpack for 8 weeks.
India was perfect. The world showed herself in new and marvelous ways. An opening up to completely different cultures and ways, hope, love, gratitude. Relieved that here is so much more than what we see in the western modern world and so much richness we can’t imagine. Through India the world grew new, big, beautiful and full of love again. Actually India is worth many posts of her own. It is a mysterious country where love flows in the streets. At least if you are open to it.
Here just a few. Many more photos from back then are in my flickr set India.
This summer I have been spending a lot of time cleaning up and clearing out in old stuff. In my parents spacious basement I have stored heaps of things from a good part of my life.
Admittedly, I am a collector. And my parents are too. I have clothes that are from my teenage years – around 25 years old. This has proven valuable through the years, where an old item could be gathered from the hidings and brought to new use. Yet I have felt the need of cleaning up and letting go of for a long while. However when I have tried to approach the piles and start looking through it all, I would typically get into a heavy, draining energy and a bad mood.
This summer, time has been available to me, and I am celebrating to have managed to get through all the boxes! At first it was still challenging this time too, draining me in the first attempts. By starting with small bits here and there, and the possibility to take it easy – I slowly got into the process of it and began to feel the energy rising in doing so. Amazed to see the pattern change from the draining heavy energy to a light and life growing one, the more I cleared out and was able to throw away.
I have thrown away tall stacks of books and an infinite number of sacks full of paper. Sacks of clothes and piles of old CDs. I still keep some stuff, but now better organized and hopefully easier to find the way through.
Then I am impressed by the number of letters we wrote in the nineties! It was before all communication became digital, on the edge of the millenium. I feel inspired to start writing more letters. They are beautiful proof and souvenirs of friendships.
So… along the findings from different times in my life, I have been walking down memory lane in this period. Getting emotionally overwhelmed by the strong feelings and stories of certain eras. Certain of these memories needs healing, to clear the energies some more. I am healing right now.
I came home from my Indonesia journey. After a first good day I got into a bad mood. I was tired and it all felt meaningless and hopeless. A depression-like state.
It is not the first time I experience this sort of thing after travel. The last time I was on a longer trip, to Japan, it also took me a couple of weeks to regain my energy. And even after just a weekend in Berlin or Copenhagen I experience a low.
I love traveling and would make a living of it if – when I find a way. My soul rejoices when I take my body to foreign places, and it loves Asia. Maybe it has to do with a longing to stay there. That is how I felt about Japan – it felt so deeply meaningful, beyond words, to stay in that beautiful country.
However this Indonesia trip was a very different story. I feel that I haven’t set foot on indonesian ground: I never walked down a street or did anything on my own in any of the towns we passed through. We were accompanied – from car backseat, to hotel, to university lecture halls, to restaurant, back to the car and the hotel. And so forth. Like children. Or rock stars maybe? I didn’t make a deep connection to Indonesia because of this constant being ‘taken care of’.
The first days I longed for contact with the street life, to go out and explore and discover this new country. Then we got really busy and I may have repressed this desire along the way. And then I got filled up with all the activities and constant company so I had no surplus energy to go exploring anymore. On top of this we spent long travel hours and a few nights sleeping in cars, going from one place to the next. Also rather draining.
Being a highly sensitive and introvert person (HSP), I get my energy from time alone, opposite to extroverts and less sensitive people who are able to reload in company with others. I demand quiet time alone to recharge my batteries, in order to be able to keep living my life with an open heart in the external world. I need to rest, regenerate and digest, to be able to feel myself also. I feel like I drown in constant company. I get overstimulated.
This trip’s program challenged me extremely. There was not enough time for me to be alone and recharge. I only drained, and drained myself more. Ended up crying at a few points, and having to shut myself off because I couldn’t take more people and crowds and smiling polite conversation. Sad. I hate having to do that.
Ok so I get a little depressed – we all do that now and then you might say. Then you are probably not a HSP – a Highly Sensitive Person. How sensitive are you, my dear reader? People are different.
My depression resulting from the overstimulation is a low energy where the meaning of things evaporate. Why am I doing this? This leads nowhere. I am no good. Etc.
In that state I loose hope, desire and passion for what I otherwise love and want to do. All the things that I normally am excited to explore, develop and play with get out of sight.
Sometimes it feels like I hardly can do anything because I will end up overstimulated at some point and loose my energy, hit the bottom and then start over again. It is a tough roller coaster trip to move between the low and high energy all the time.
When I arrive on top again, I go from zero to hundred in wanting to do everything I have put off (when I was low) and more, and getting lots of new ideas. Creativity booming, so I have trouble following it – and with the risk of overstimulating myself just through my own flow of inspiration…
I get overstimulated in many ways in my life. Certain people trick it if they talk a lot or if I feel bulldozed by them in some other way. I am sensitive to insensitivity. Making too many appointments don’t work because I won’t have time to digest in between. When I travel on my own and there is so much to discover that I won’t give myself time for proper breaks – I may push myself because I don’t want to miss anything. Group travel always kick it off at some point; I normally break down on day four (it was also day four in Indonesia).
The paradox is that I love and need stimulation; adventure, exploring, discovering – it is just really hard to balance when I also need the introvert regeneration time. I simply want to do more than I am sensitively capable of. I end up hitting the wall again and again. Meanwhile I do my best to see the learning in the process.
I believe this overstimulation is the main reason for the depressed state described.
However there may be more reasons to my home-coming depression. I mentioned Japan: When I returned home from Japan last year I suffered a two week depression. Being back home had no meaning compared to the meaning and joy I experienced being in Japan. I was in love with the country and my soul longed to go back.
Maybe my soul also longed for meeting ‘the real’ Indonesia?
Jeg oplevede overvældende skift i følelser og energi, da jeg blev sagt op, så forlænget og til sidst stoppede. De voldsomme svingninger gav negative vibrationer og uhensigtsmæssige spild af tid, energi, ressourcer.
En undersøgelse af en proces.
Det kom som en overraskelse. Jeg havde været ansat knap et halvt år på en lille tegnestue i vækst, hvor opgaverne lod til at strømme ind. Jeg var på vej til et møde i den anden ende af landet, da min chef ringede. Ledelsen havde regnet med at jeg var på kontoret den dag så de kunne holde et møde med mig. De havde bare ikke checket min kalender, så i stedet blev jeg sagt op telefonisk. Min chef udtrykte sin beklagelse.
Vi var blevet advaret noget tid inden. I ledelsen var de ved at undersøge om der var opgaver nok til alle medarbejdere. Det virkede noget abstrakt, så jeg tænkte ikke videre over den melding. Vi var en stribe nye medarbejdere som havde fået fastansættelser i en ellers usikker tid, som et tegn fra ledelsen om at de troede på os og et ønske om engagement fra vores side.
Nye omgivelser – tilflytter
Jeg var flyttet til byen for jobbet og var godt tilfreds med det hele – opgaverne, kollegerne, stedet og rammerne for arbejdet. Og min nye by som var velkendt fra tidligere og hvor jeg heldigvis havde en masse venner i forvejen.
En sprække af frihed
Det var underligt at blive sagt op. Det var ikke min første gang, så jeg tog det ikke særligt personligt, følte mig nærmest lidt garvet. Jeg blev overrasket og ked af det, men samtidig mærkede jeg en sprække af frihed åbne sig for mig – og nye muligheder. En velkendt følelse fra mindst én tidligere opsigelse.
Tre måneder er lang tid at være opsagt og stadig på arbejde. Jeg kunne ikke nå at gøre mit projekt færdigt og mistede min motivation. Følte mig som en søvngænger og kedede mig. Den negative energi påvirkede mit humør, og bragte mange morgener fyldt af frygt, frustration og tårer. Sorte følelser og mindreværd pressede livsglæden ud af mig. Det blev en kamp at gå på arbejde.
Afslutningen nærmede sig, og pludselig foreslog min leder at jeg kunne blive forlænget et lille stykke tid for at gøre mit projekt færdigt. Jeg var helt paf og måtte bede om betænkningstid. Kunne jeg fortsætte i denne ulidelige negative energi? Jeg ville virkelig gerne færdiggøre projektet. Hvis bare denne mulighed var kommet noget før, så jeg ikke havde spildt så megen tid og energi. Dårlig samvittighed og præstationsangst.
Nu skulle jeg gøre projektet færdigt alligevel. Pludselig havde jeg en høj produktiv energi, min ansvarsfølelse var tilbage, jeg blev resultatorienteret – og stresset.
På få øjeblikke et vildt skifte i energi. Jeg havde i lang tid været ineffektiv, og nu måtte jeg knokle for at forsøge at indhente det forsømte. For at nå et nogenlunde resultat lagde jeg en del overarbejdstimer.
Ud af døren
I slutfasen var jeg afklaret og med en god energi og humør. Jeg havde slidt for at få afleveret og havde gjort mit bedste plus lidt til. Jeg var afklaret om at skulle stoppe. Overskudsagtigt lavede jeg en gryde indisk chai til kolllegerne som afslutning.
Alligevel blev jeg ked af det da jeg gik ud af døren, og fældede tårer i sorg over at afslutte den periode. Efterfulgt af tomhed den følgende aften.
Et forløb som det beskrevne virker ikke hensigtsmæssigt for nogen af parterne. Jeg synes der spildes for meget energi og ressourcer. Én ting er spild af virksomhedens ressourcer. Værre er, i det overordnede billede, spild af min (og andre medarbejderes) personlige energi. Derudover mine følelsesmæssige reaktioner som jeg vedkender mig som mine reaktioner og gamle mønstre der bliver sat i gang. Præstationsangst. Pligtopfyldenhed. Frygt. Menneskelighed.
Jeg drømmer om en mere blød og hel arbejdsverden. Som det er nu reagerer jeg stadig med at prøve på at skjule de ‘dårlige’ følelser fordi jeg gerne vil passe ind og være ‘professionel’. Hvem er det der siger at der ikke er plads til de negative følelser? Vi er jo alle mennesker. Jeg tror og håber på at der er plads til det hele. Hvis ikke før, så i fremtiden. Og den starter NU.